A couple times I have seen an experienced dancer use this when there was no one else nearby. The "who me?" was not really a question, but rather a coy flirtation.
In general I advise against using "who me?", but this might be an exception. I have no objection to people flirting from afar, but a smile and nod is still needed to seal the deal. Please feel free to share your experiences and insights on this topic.
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Sometimes a follower sits or stands with friends. It may be hard to tell who the cabeceo was for. It's tempting to try to clarify by some form of "who me?" However this is usually a wasted effort.
Imagine the following scenario.... three followers in a group .... a cabeceo comes from across the room ... it's not clear who the cabeceo was intended for ... all three followers point to themselves and mouth the words "who me?". The leader smiles and nods his head up and down. Now what? All three followers may firmly believe that they are about to have a magical tanda with their dream partner, but two of them are in for a surprise. This can be especially awkward if all three followers stand up and start walking toward the leader. [Note: The same scenario can occur even if no one is next to you. Imagine another follower 5-10 feet behind you.] Instead of "who me?" just do these four simple things: smile, nod, maintain eye contact and wait. If the leader approaches you directly, all is well. You get to dance that tanda with him. If the leader approaches one of the other followers in your group, all is not lost. The leader has almost certainly noticed your smile, and nod, even though he did not approach you for the current tanda. You just added yourself to his mental dance card. Bottom line: Don't use "who me?" as a response to a cabeceo. A better response is to either accept the cabeceo with a smile and a nod, or reject the cabeceo by looking away. Please feel free to share your experiences and insights on this topic. The beginning dancer may be unsure of his/her own ability and desirability as a dance partner. Sometimes the beginning follower can't believe that a more experienced leader would invite them to dance. If the follower is insecure in the invitation to dance it hints that her dance may be equally insecure. It sets the tone for a less than pleasant dance.
If someone invites you to dance, they have implicitly agreed to appreciate your current ability. I have had some very pleasant dances with beginners, and occasionally some less than pleasant dances with more experienced dancers. Even if you are a beginner, don't sell yourself short. Don't use "who me?" as a response to a cabeceo. A better response is to either accept the cabeceo with a smile and a nod, or reject the cabeceo by looking away. Please feel free to share your experiences and insights on this topic. I was visiting a milonga in another town far away. As I scanned the room I saw a woman looking in my direction. I gave her my best cabeceo. She responded by raising her eyebrows, pointing at herself, and mouthing the words "who me?"It's a somewhat natural response in certain situations, but it's not effective. It just prolongs the process unnecessarily.
Don't use "who me?" as a response to a cabeceo. A better response is to either accept the cabeceo with a smile and a nod, or reject the cabeceo by looking away. Please feel free to share your experiences and insights on this topic. Click on the comment link above. |
AuthorThis blog is devoted to Argentine tango. It reflects my experiences during my tango journey. I hope you will enrich this blog by adding your experiences and insights into tango. Archives
February 2019
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